Ya' NASTY - 2017 Honda Civic Hatch

"IanZ - limited-slip indifferential" (ianz-limited) 08/15/2016 at 18:22 • Filed to: Ya' NASTY, Honda Civic, 2017, hatchback, brown diesel manual wagon

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So the 2017 Honda Civic hatch was revealed today. I wish it wasn’t.

God’s holy trousers... This is possibly the ugliest car I have ever seen. Now granted this is the sport version (chevy citation needed), so it may have more vents and scoops and crap, but it is what it is, and what it is is ugly. Let’s start with the most obvious fake grilles I have ever seen. There are two of them in the front, making it look like it’s wearing a dental lip retractor. The Hondabeak is back in black. The bodywork-not-quite-connecting thing needs to go away like yesterday. Seriously people.

There are also two GINORMOUS vents in the rear, providing cooling for... the in-trunk subwoofer, f*** if I know. Honda Civic Hatch, ya’ NASTY.

The tailights are twice as big as they need to be and gloriously ugly. They look good on the coupe, but the whole smokey eye thing isn’t working. The way they flow into the useless spoiler is neat, but they NASTY.

I know the 45 degree hatch is a hard look to pull off, so why did you even try? It looked good on the European Ford Focus, full stop. Honda designers don’t strike me as the kind of people who can pull off a difficult look. They’re the people who designed the Crosstour, not Tim Gunn for Godssake.

Also, that sloping beltline/bodyline combo makes the front end look like it was attached wrong. Like when you button a cardigan one button off. But of course this is a Honda, so that cardigan would have embroidered flames. And be made of robots.

I hate that little kink/slope at the base of the D-pillar. Ya’ not BMW, Honda, ya’ NASTY.

TheHondaBro > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 18:24

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Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 18:25

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Coming from a Honda fan boy...it’s ugly, but give me a Si version and all will be forgiven.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > TheHondaBro 08/15/2016 at 18:25

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R

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get it? i typed r

TheHondaBro > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 18:27

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IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 08/15/2016 at 18:29

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If it’s fun to drive, that’s all that matters, but still....

LongbowMkII > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 18:32

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I can’t see how it’ll be fun to drive in a honda sense. Way too big.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 18:37

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Our local dealer has a coupe in neon green. I like it.

Tekamul > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 18:37

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I agree with every word of this.

But you forgot the fake mini window beyond the rear doors. Just why? What are they doing?

Chasaboo > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 18:37

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Not quite as pretty as this:

But I think I’m going to move up to a Civic hatchback. How do you get your name on a list for one of them?

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > LongbowMkII 08/15/2016 at 18:38

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Still around the ball park weight of my Si though

interstate366, now In The Industry > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 08/15/2016 at 18:41

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I’m a Honda fanboy and nothing would get me to own one aside from the next generation somehow being even uglier.

interstate366, now In The Industry > Chasaboo 08/15/2016 at 18:49

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I don’t think there will be a massive waiting list for them.

Somethin' 'bout a truck > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 18:51

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I feel the same way. The new grill layout makes me like the old Acura beak a little more than I care to admit..

Wait.. nevermind. I hate them both.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 18:51

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How the fuck do people hate this but love the Malibu? Don’t get it. The fake vents are godawful, but the overall shape is far, far better than any Civic since the EK coupe. Holy shit, it actually has a HOOD, and I actually really like the novel tail lights and “hondabeak” but dear god get rid of those massive fake vents on the corners.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > interstate366, now In The Industry 08/15/2016 at 18:54

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Eh...depending on price, i could be talked into one

Noah - Now with more boost. > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 18:55

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I’m hoping there will be a conservative reaction to all of this ludicrous styling. Then we’ll see nice looking cars from Japan again. The whole overly angular and sliced up with a knife styling thing doesn’t do it for me

gin-san - shitpost specialist > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 19:09

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For the new-gen of Civics, I only ever read online that they’re awful looking - most people I talk to in real life seem to really like the styling.

I don’t think this design is without fault, but I think it’s good for Honda - I found their recent generation cars to be forgettable cars. You’re not going to forget this thing, for better or for worse. I like that it’s not boring and makes me interested in a Civic.

My biggest problem with this generation is the overuse of fake grilles. If they cut some actual holes and said it was for brake cooling or feeding air out of the wheel wells, I would 100% buy that explanation (even if it was bullshit). The fake-ness is tacky, like sticking on “ram air” scoops that actually do fuck-all.

Otherwise, I like it.

Svend > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 19:12

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The Civic has been different from the rest of the field since 2005.

Below is a 2006.

2015

I’m not a fan of the 2017 model but I was never a fan of the old one.

Busslayer > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 19:14

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I particularly don’t like the shape of the greenhouse and the sloping hatch. From profile it looks like a Chrysler Sebring/200. And what is the point of having a hatch if you slope the roof and cut down the usefulness of having a hatch?

The next grievance I have is the droopy styling on the front end. It just does nothing for me.

I don’t even get to the point of considering the other add on styling elements because I find the basic shape to be off putting.

kernkernkern > Chasaboo 08/15/2016 at 19:17

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Same. I have a ‘10 Fit and I’m considering moving up if the Civic hatch has a flat load floor.

NJAnon > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 19:44

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Im pretty sure Honda fans are wondering where Honda gets their design language sometimes. I do the same for Subaru & Scion sometimes.

But I think they were trying to not make the car look like it disappears into the sea of ordinary cars like previous cars did. You know the “rental” car look. (although I don’t see a way for Honda to get out of that shadow any time soon)

jvirgs drives a Subaru > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 20:05

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I don’t like the new civic at all

UnderSTeerEnthusiast - Triumph Fanboy > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 20:12

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I like the idea of the 5 door hatch. If it wasn’t for the plan to possibly buy out my in laws ‘15 Si sedan when it comes off lease, I would consider this with the 6 speed.

RacinBob > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 20:14

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Owning a ‘07 Si and a spouse with a new ‘16 non-turbo Coupe, I am interested in the ‘17 Hatch. I test drove a touring Sedan tonight to get an idea of the 1.5 turbo performance, and it’s nice. I thought the interiour felt smaller than either my Si sedan or her coupe.

My dealer says the hatch will not have a Si option, only R. I like sunroofs and I don’t want a rock crushing R suspension for 4 season driving. SO I don’t know what I will do. Maybe it’s a Hatch sport 6 speed, maybe not....

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > Svend 08/15/2016 at 21:03

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That 2006 Civic is absolutely lovely.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > Noah - Now with more boost. 08/15/2016 at 21:07

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Yeah, how Honda went from this

to this

is beyond me.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > Tekamul 08/15/2016 at 21:08

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i didn’t even notice it was fake. Holy crap those pillars must be enormous!

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 08/15/2016 at 21:08

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I will say I don’t mind the coupe at all. Much more restrained than this thing.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > NJAnon 08/15/2016 at 21:09

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I’m all for interesting, non-generic cars, I just wish designers didn’t resort to making them ugly to do it.

IanZ - limited-slip indifferential > jvirgs drives a Subaru 08/15/2016 at 21:10

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The sedan for me is just meh, I can’t love or hate it, and I like the coupe. But this design is just... offensive.

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 21:27

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I quite like it, but I drive Juke. Ugly cars are in my blood. I’m not a fan of the front, but love the back. The new tail lights on civics looks so neat at night.

Svend > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/15/2016 at 21:33

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I thought that back in 2005, but the styling wore off after a couple of years, but it didn’t get a facelift till 2011.

If I was to have a Civic, It’d be a Civic Tourer.

404 - User No Longer Available > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 08/15/2016 at 21:40

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I said this over at Jalopnik but I guess nobody saw. Honda should complete the full ugly circle, lift this up and call it a CR-V CrossCoupe. Hey I mean weird looking SUVs sell these days, right? Even Porsche is making a Cayenne Coupe.

Noah - Now with more boost. > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/16/2016 at 08:11

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exactly.

TTercel > IanZ - limited-slip indifferential 08/16/2016 at 10:53

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Nice Crosstour brah.